Trauma Bonds To Time…
“Lori” dreaded the month of March. She didn’t know why; she only knew that every year during this month, she sank into a deep despair and couldn’t seem to pull out of it until sometime in April. She tried to lift her mood by spending time with her family, or going to see inspirational movies, or meditating on Scripture, but nothing worked. She had resigned herself to a month of depression and desperation. Lori was suffering from a Trauma Bond to Time.
During ministry sessions, we discovered that Lori’s best friend died in a car accident on March 4th, when Lori was only eight years old. She was heartbroken to lose her friend. Her parents did all they knew to help her, but she was deeply affected by her first experience of death. To make matters even worse, her pet dog got out of the fenced yard, and was never found. Lori mourned the second loss even more than that of her friend, because her dog was her comfort. Everyone tried to cheer her up, to make her feel better — but nothing worked for weeks. Lori finally pushed her grief down, and moved on with her life. However, her sadness was stored in her emotional vault, and she also formed the belief that “bad things happen in March.” As she grew older, anytime something disappointing or negative happened during the month of March, it added to the growing evidence that proved the danger of this time of year.
Time passed, and the connection to that original trauma at eight years old was forgotten, but the stored emotions remained in Lori’s subconscious mind, reminding her annually through unexplained sadness and grief. As we worked with Lori to process and release the retained emotions, and dissolved the false belief/negative expectancy that bad things happen in March, Lori was able to gain great freedom from her yearly bout with sadness.
A trauma bond to time can occur when we experience something that is extremely painful or troubling or frightening. Our feelings get “wired” to the timeframe of the event in our subconscious mind, and can also be connected to other things like smells, sounds, colors, etc, This is similar to how PTSD occurs, although the bond to time is cyclical instead of perpetual, If you lost a loved one near the holidays, and now find it difficult to enjoy this time of year, you may have a trauma bond to time.
So how can you discover whether or not your current feelings are tied to something in your past? Here are several steps you can take:
- Ask yourself, “When is the first time I remember feeling this way?” When you recall a time, then ask “Is there any earlier time than this one?” Remember that there are often layers of events that seem to reinforce the emotions because they get internally categorized and filed in the same place as the original event.
- Once you discover the earliest time or event, ask Holy Spirit if there is anything you need to do in order to release the pain/fear/trauma. This might include someone you need to forgive (yourself? person who hurt you? God, if you blamed Him at the time?) It might also include something you need to repent of, liker bitterness, judgement, resentment, etc. Whatever Holy Spirit reveals to you, do it. If you need help, call on Jesus Who daily intercedes for you, and He will help you.
- Next ask, “Is there a lie that I believed or that was formed in my heart about this event? About myself? About life in general? About God?” If so, first repent of believing the lie (repentance is {metanoia – Greek} which means to change your mind.) Then ask Holy Spirit to give you the truth that will break the power of the lie (false belief.)
- Pray something like this: “Father God, I repent for believing the lie that _____________________, and instead receive your Truth that ______________. I choose to release all of the accummulated pain/anger/fear/sadness/rejection/anxiety (whatever the stored emotion(s) is/are) to You right now that are connected in any way to this time and event. I ask You to take them from me as I release them. (Pause to allow Holy Spirit time to remove the trapped emotions.) Now I ask You to give me Your peace/strength/courage/calm/acceptance/freedom (whatever is opposite of the things you released) in exchange. (Pause and receive all that He has for you.) Father God, I ask You to dissolve all trauma bonds and triggers to the emotions, lies, pain, fear, etc., between me and every time, place, space, and dimension. I thank You for setting me free by Your power and grace, in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
This is a very simplified example and explanation of trauma bonds to time. If you need help, we are here to assist you in getting freedom from anything that hinders you from experiencing the peace, love, and joy of Jesus!
- * The story of Lori is fictional, but is a realistic example of some of the trauma bonds to time we have helped clients release.